


Bonds of Love (part 3): The Distress of Deprivation

by onkoona



Series: Bonds of Love [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bottom Severus Snape, Heavy BDSM, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2015-05-28
Packaged: 2018-04-01 18:20:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4029925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onkoona/pseuds/onkoona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was supposed to be only a few days of alone time for him, and he enjoyed it too, but then it just wouldn't end...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bonds of Love (part 3): The Distress of Deprivation

**Part 3**  
"The Distress of Deprivation"

_#HP#SS#HP#SS#HP#SS#_

Harry was going to be away with the Weasleys for the first weekend of Easter holidays and Severus was actually looking forward to being on his own for a bit. He found he'd missed the freedom of doing what he wanted, when he wanted on the few days off he had from teaching. The dunderheads had a full week's holiday and wouldn't be back until Tuesday week. So Severus could have his own long weekend and then another week alone with Harry in Southern Italy, where they'd be gathering fresh flowers and herbs.

But first, Severus decided to brew all Saturday. And then he'd brew some more on Sunday. And then he'd brew some more on Monday morning and afternoon until 3:30, when Harry would be coming home. He just couldn't wait.

_#HP#SS#HP#SS#HP#SS#_

At precisely 3 o'clock, Monday, Severus turned off the last flame under the last cauldron, which he then set to cool and congeal under a Impervius charm that would keep out any dust and pests. He carefully decanted the already cooled batches into neatly labeled potion bottles, before using his wand to charm the cauldrons clean and dry, and levitating them back onto their storage shelves. He carefully stored the bottles in the finished potions cabinet and cleared off the last of the utensils from the workbench, putting them clean and neatly away just as the half hour chimed. Only ten seconds later, Severus was sitting on the sofa across from the hearth, a hastily summoned tray with a complete tea spread now sitting atop the many papers on the dining table, his nose seemingly studiously in a potions book, keeping an eye on the fire for signs of floo activity, his breath short from the quick action.

_#HP#SS#HP#SS#HP#SS#_

It was ten minutes before Severus put his book down. And after half an hour he threw the book aside, got up and started pacing.  _Why is Harry not here yet?_

Another hour and he was ready to scream.  _Where was that stupid boy? What did he think he was pulling here?_

Another half hour and one of the dainty china tea cups shattered against the non-Harry-yielding hearth.  _What in Merlin's beard was going on? Harry was never late. He'd never let Severus wait like this. Why can't the boy be bothered to send a message or something!?_

Twenty minutes more and Severus threw the teapot at Sassy who wanted whatever it was that house elves usually wanted. Severus couldn't be bothered with such inconsequential matters, especially now that Harry wasn't home yet.

The next time the house elf showed up, Severus cast a stinging hex at its bottom. It didn't come back after that.  _And good riddance too_ , he thought as he cast an anti-house elf ward around the room. And he went back to rocking back and forth, his arms wrapped around his legs as he sat under the dining table, in the ruined living room, blocking out all detraction, waiting for his Master to come home.

_#HP#SS#HP#SS#HP#SS#_

Hours passed, which Severus only noted by the many times the mantle clock chimed. Severus had calmed somewhat, after he'd realized the truth.  _Why would Harry come back to him, when he had normal, friendly, sane people to be with_? _He couldn't blame Harry for wanting nice friends, and not a sick fuck like Severus himself. No, Harry was better off with the Weasleys. He was like them; light and bright and right. Whereas Severus was darkness itself; a 'wrong-un' as his father would say, not worth keeping alive. Yes, his father had been right all along; he was only there to be used and then discarded as so much trash, because that was exactly what he was; dirty, rotting trash. Lucius had known it, the Dark Lord had known it, even Dumbledore had known it. Trash to be used up and then dumped. And now Harry had finally seen it too. Severus knew he would not come back. Well, maybe to say goodbye, Harry was a decent sort, but that would be the end of it._  With that Severus' eyes filled up and he couldn't even muster enough dignity at that exact moment to stop the tears from spilling down his face onto his knees. He buried his face into them, wrapping his arms around tighter.

_#HP#SS#HP#SS#HP#SS#_

More time had passed and Severus had cried his eyes dry and sat shivering under the table waiting for... what? There was nothing to wait for, nothing at all. He should get up, he knew. He should get up and get on with his life. Or he should get up and find that vial. The one with the pure belladonna extract. Half the vial would do the trick, to spare. The taste would be sweeter than he deserved, but as a poison it would be quick and painless, euphoric even. Yes, he should get up and find that vial. But in a few minutes would be just as good, he thought after trying to get up and failing even to move. He put his forehead back on his knees and tried to stop shivering.

_#HP#SS#HP#SS#HP#SS#_

It was the sudden disintegration of his front door that startled Severus out of his dolour. He looked up at the now open entrance, seeing Harry stand there with his hair and clothing flying with magic sparks and a look on his face that frightened Severus more than any look from the Dark Lord had ever done; Harry looked boiling mad.

"Why the fuck is the floo closed?" Harry yelled. The sound dragged Severus back to his full array of senses. He leaped up, upending the table behind him, drew his wand and took a battle stance, thereby towering over the intruder.  _Ah, Harry had come to bring the news himself after all; well, two can play at that,_  Severus thought.

"Get out," Severus commanded.  _Offence was always better than defence any day, and he'd be damned if he was going to let himself be dumped. If anybody would be doing the dumping it would be him, the future be damned._  He brandished his wand, making it sparkle green with spell preparation, but not yet firing off a curse. He was no fool; anyone who attacked the Boy Who Lived without provable provocation would stand condemned in the eyes of the entire Wizarding World. Severus had no desire to go to Azkaban, even with the Dementors gone. No, he had a date with a Beautiful Lady and he wasn't about to miss it.

"Get out," he repeated. And when Harry did not move at all, he screamed it. "GET OUT!"

_#HP#SS#HP#SS#HP#SS#_

Harry was completely stunned. Sev looked like hell. His clothes were torn, there was blood dripping down one cuff, his face was completely white where it wasn't almost black under his huge, insane looking eyes. Harry had only been gone a few days and, when Hermione's new baby decided to come early, he'd stayed to witness the birth. He was less than a day late and he'd sent several messages to let his lover know. What the hell had gone wrong?

And what the hell was he going to do about it. Sev was a formidable opponent when he wanted to be, better at attack and defence than Harry was, for sure, faster too. As Harry carefully eyed Sev, he remembered something. Something Sev himself had told him a while ago.  _'No matter how good a wand holding, verbal spell using Wizard is, wandless and wordless spells will always beat him, because he can get no forewarning for such spells, and thus he cannot effectively defend himself from them. If you add the use non-standard spells, why, it's a forgone conclusion.'_ Harry felt his lips curl in a smile which he quickly repressed; he knew just the non-standard spell he could use here.

The next moment Harry had cast his spell, catching Sev completely by surprise, as intended. It was the quick-ready-for-play spell he'd been practicing with but had never actually used yet. It left his lover naked, clean (inside and out), gagged, tied up in a completely secure rope body harness, dangling about three inches off the floor from a hook in the ceiling, all within the time it took Sev's wand hit the floor from the moment Sev had had to let go of it. Wasn't magic just marvelous?

Harry took his time to inspect the rope work on the harness and the tensile strength of the load-bearing ropes. Yes, it was his own spell, but he wasn't about to trust the new spell to get all parts right the very first time he used it. In the end he decided to conjure two more ropes to add to the ones already attached to the ring in the ceiling. It was probably overkill, but, standing on a chair, he did put the extra ropes to load-bearing duty; can't be too careful with such a precious burden.

Then it was time to get back to said 'precious burden' and find out what the fuck was going on. To that end, Harry unbuckled the gag and pried it away from Sev's face. Sev started thrashing and screaming "let me go" and "get out" and "cretin" and "dunderhead" and so on. Harry let him rave only a minute or two, before grabbing the hard-working jaw and pushing it closed up into Sev's face, effectively shutting him up.

"Listen, I ask the questions, and you answer, clear?" The 'or I'll use a spell or a potion' was left unsaid, but clearly understood. Sev nodded. Good, that made it easier; Harry didn't fancy another round of Veritaserum; the one time five years ago was quite enough.

"Okay. Why is the floo closed?" Harry asked. It took a while for Sev to answer, and for a moment Harry thought he was going to have to get the potion box out, but then the Potion Master spoke. He shook his head as he admitted, "I didn't know it was. Uh, maybe the fire went out. I don't know."

Well, that at least was honest. Honest is good; keeps the potions out of the game. "Why couldn't Sassy get in?" Harry asked.

"S-Sassy? She was being a pest, she was distracting me, so I sent her out. And she kept coming back." Sev said.

"Distracting you from what?" Harry asked. Had Sev been so busy with potions he'd forgotten everything else? Harry reckoned it was quite possible.

"From waiting for you," Sev said, surprising Harry. Hadn't he...

"Didn't you receive my message?" Harry asked.

"Message?" Sev sounded genuinely surprised.

"Yes, I sent a message yesterday morning that I was going to be late and why. It should have been delivered onto the dining table if you were still brewing; I didn't want to disturb you."

Harry could see all colour leave Sev's face, and for a moment the man's eyes rolled up in their sockets. Harry quickly cast a Enervate, to prevent a full-out faint. He cast a medical fortification spell and exhaled as he saw the colour return to Sev's cheeks. He let Sev breathe for a few minutes, the expressive eyes closed and the head tilted forward, until the amulet indicated Sev was able to continue. About being actually mentally ready, the amulet was silent; that was outside its purview after all.  _Ready or not, here comes the next round._

"You thought I wasn't coming back, didn't you?" Harry said slowly, just as the thought appeared in his head. But he knew he was right the moment he'd said it. It felt like the truth and the fact that Sev suddenly tensed all over seemed clear confirmation.

Harry shook his head. "You're such an idiot," he said, crossing his arms over his chest in an attempt to look chastising. Sev's head had tilted forward again, the inky black shoulder length hair obscuring his face. Then he said something that Harry couldn't quite catch. "What's that?" he asked as he parted the hair like some black velvet curtain, pushed it behind the man's ears, and tilted his head up by his pointy chin again so Harry could look into his lover's eyes. There were tears in the red rimmed eyes.

"Why - why would you come back?" Sev asked slowly, haltingly, a tear making a trail down his left cheek. Harry was stunned.

"Why would I not come back?" he argued. "Here where I can be with a man who is one of the strongest Wizards in England, who is  _the_  best Potion Master in Europe, who lets me do whatever I want with him, to him, and lets me be who I am," he continued, putting all his emotion in the words. Then slower he said, "A man who, time and time again, proves himself worthy of respect and love and who gives it, most of the time, freely to me. How can I do anything other than come back to you?" he finished.

Harry saw tears running down his beloved Potion Master's face, and he could feel the moisture of his own tears wetting his own cheeks. They were like that for a few moments and then Harry pulled on Sev's chin, leaning forward himself and they kissed, a soft kiss that lasted for quite a while.

_#HP#SS#HP#SS#HP#SS#_  


  
  


-The End-

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